Max the Dork

I'm a lazy sod!

Jul. 16th, 2009 at 12:48 PM

I had to squeak in that extra half hour of sleep so I ended up getting breakfast at McDevil's. $5.56 for a #12 with small OJ (I'm so predictable). I pull up to the window and hand the girl a $10, she looks at me and says "You wouldn't happen to have 56¢ would you?" I'm like, no, all I have is the ten.

So I got my change in quarters. They didn't have any singles in the drawer at all.

Serves me right.

On the plus side, I now have plenty of quarters for sodas. (-:

Homemade Chicken Enchillada

Jul. 8th, 2009 at 12:27 PM

with Tacos at Midnight Doritos and diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper.

Yeah. Pretty much best lunch ever.

Best opening line in a book, ever.

Jun. 29th, 2009 at 12:23 PM

"If you read this line without reading the entire book, you're a stone-cold idiot."

Genius. People pick up books all the time in the bookstore and flip it open to page 1 and read the first sentence. That's why the opening line is so critical. But this opening line serves a dual purpose. It propels the story forward, and yet, it also locks the reader in. Now they have to buy the book. And if they don't buy the book, they're a stone-cold idiot. It's in print. You can't argue with print. Print never lies.

Also quashes any bad reviews the book might receive. If a reviewer says "This book is crap," all you have to do is to say "Well, obviously you didn't read the entire book, which makes you a stone-cold idiot." If they argue with you just say "Well, what is the 15th word of the 3rd paragraph on page 347?" When they stumble for the answer, just say "Yeah, thought so."

This post inspired by Dinosaur Comics #1496.

That fly got Ba-ROCKED

Jun. 18th, 2009 at 11:08 AM

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2009/06/17/obama.fly.swat.cnn

In a related story (and I wish this was a joke but it's not...)

http://www.star-telegram.com/238/story/1440096.html

Friggin' PETA. It was a FLY!

Well, I guess one thing you can't say about Obama is that he wouldn't hurt a fly. He got that sucka.

Les Tweets de Max

Jun. 10th, 2009 at 12:07 AM

07:00 It's pouring outside! #
13:41 That's messed up. They're usually really good. This is very uncharacteristic of them. #

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Les Tweets de Max

Jun. 5th, 2009 at 12:08 AM

19:47 I was having a bad day but now i'm with friends (-: #

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Les Tweets de Max

Jun. 2nd, 2009 at 12:06 AM

07:55 Fire drill. Yay. #

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Gratuitous plug

Jun. 1st, 2009 at 7:40 AM

Please read my daughter's webcomic, Boys Like Orchids. And please add it to your favorites (you'll have to join Smackjeeves to do that, but it takes literally almost no time at all). Those of you who know of my daughter know that she has aspired to be a manga artist her entire life (seriously), and with a little determination she could definitely achieve that. Anyway, take a look (-:

On a scale of 1 to 10...

May. 31st, 2009 at 10:43 PM

1 being no desire to see it, and 10 being oh my gosh I need to rob a bank so I can go see this movie, the new Twilight movie is about a -50.

JBG told me that -50 is the lowest it can go. I wanted to say -52 but I have to settle for -50.

OTOH, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is 11.

Patience: my weakness

May. 28th, 2009 at 9:25 AM

I was talking with God in the car yesterday (I talk with God in the car frequently - I have an hour-long commute and it gives me a lot of time to catch up on stuff with Him) and it occurred to me that the main problem I have with patience, as I see it, is twofold, yet one single issue:

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